The Fault In My Star
by Lolas Rose
Summary: An alternative ending to the book 'The Fault In Our Stars'


Hazel Grace. There are many words which could be used to describe Hazel, witty, intelligent, headstrong, lover, friend. Best friend of Augustus Waters. Yet when you observed their relationship, it seemed to be a lot more than that. When you watched them walking down the street, or talking together, it was almost as if they were soul mates. They seemed to have known each other all their lives, when in reality it had only been a fraction of the time.  
Everybody who knew Hazel Grace looked up to or admired her in one way or another, maybe for her courage or her humour. She was loved by all and would be missed by many.

It happened on the Friday night. Hazel's condition had been deteriorating slowly for the past few months. The doctors had reached a stage in her treatment where they could see there were no improvements coming any time soon, they had done all they could ever hope to do for her. Now, all anyone could hope for was a miracle.  
Hours turned into what felt like years as for the last few days of Hazel Grace's life people prayed and hoped for what they knew was almost impossible. Hazel's parents seemed crippled by their sadness, as they turned into lifeless statues waiting solemnly and faithfully at Hazel's side. Augustus, well what can I say, he wasn't in a much better state than Hazel. To outsiders it may have looked like a severe case of depression. To any who had known Hazel and Augustus as a couple, they experienced the devastating traumatic effect, and the power true love can hold over a person. Slowly, he appeared to be dying a part of him was withering away and becoming weaker and weaker as Hazel slipped further and further away from him, out of his grasp. It was heart breaking to be near him as the sorrow leaked out from his body.  
After 3 days of hanging on, Hazel's body could take it no longer. She succumbed to the darkness and passed in her sleep. To all that had known Hazel, somehow the world felt empty without her presence, and around every corner was a new wave of sorrow and grief waiting to engulf its victims in a tsunami of darkness. The pain had been dragged out for too long for Hazel and when it finally happened, she lay there looking like an angel fallen from heaven, in peace at last, and that's how she will be remembered.

Time appeared to have lost all meaning, as the world slowly began to fall apart bit by bit. My world was falling apart and my life no longer had purpose. I was frozen in a nightmare where nothing made sense and no one could reach me. Yet it wasn't a nightmare, it was reality. She was gone and she was never coming back. I questioned god's motives for stealing away the one person in my life who knew me. Who truly knew me and loved me. Had I done something wrong, something so deeply unforgivable that I deserved to have her taken from me forever? I feel as though there is a gaping hole in my being, right where my heart should be yet it's not there any more and has been replaced by a black abyss. Hazel Grace, you've left this world and gone to heaven yet you've taken my heart with you.  
Every day I wake, and the nightmare begins all over again. I try I really do, every morning to wake up and move my limbs. Yet most of the time I can't feel them to do anything. I feel paralysed by the numbness that has overcome me in your absence and it scares me to my core. I'm willing myself to keep on living for your sake Hazel Grace. To make up for what you never had time to do. In your time on this planet you made such a difference. Most of all you changed me. You gave me hope when I never knew it existed. You showed me how to love, and for that I am eternally in your debt, my sweet, sweet Hazel Grace.

You always talked to me about how you feared for the life your parents would live after you. You worried about how their loss would affect their lives and you always encouraged them to have that stretched on into a time after you, into the unknown. You wanted them to really live their lives, not to just exist in a state of mourning, and that's what they're doing. You'd be pleased Hazel, you really would. At first I didn't see any hope; I went round to your house every day and sat with them. We talked for hours on end about anything and everything to do with you. A memory from your childhood that your dad recalled, our trip to Amsterdam. Anything that reminded us of you, that kept your fire burning bright. It's been a year now, and slowly I can see them accepting that your gone. That you're not coming back. Your mums started working again; she completed her training and is now a fully equipped social worker. A Patrick ready to help kids with god knows what problems they might have. Your dads as emotional as he ever was you know him, but he has started painting and he's surprisingly gifted Hazel, I just wish you had been here to see.  
Isaac has fully adapted to living life as a blind man, and has taken it in his stride. Nothing much has changed, he's still pining after Monica but I don't mind so much any more, you know. I realised you can't help who you love and you can't stop it. You can never stop loving someone no matter where they end up. Isaac will never stop loving Monica. My parents will never stop loving me. And I Augustus Waters will never stop loving you Hazel Grace. Some infinities are larger than others, you know who taught us that, but I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity, I wouldn't swap it for the world.

Me? I know that's what you'd be thinking right now. I got the all clear. I should be happy right I get to live my life and leave my stamp on the world before I go. Yet I can't help thinking this should be you not me. You didn't deserve to go Hazel and I will never understand the intentions of this universe we live in for ending your life before it had begun. You told me once you wanted to be enough for me but that you could never be. You were wrong Hazel Grace. You were perfect, in every single way, okay?


End file.
